July 24, 2012 § 6 Comments
I know I have shamefully neglected this blog, and a huge reason for that has been that I’m not back to running yet, so the blog has just been a painful reminder of that fact. But I also just haven’t had the time or energy! I feel like I got on a train with broken brakes when I moved to Austin, jumping full force into a busy full time job I love, tons of opportunities to be with my family hanging out/meeting for coffee/going to church/helping them renovate/cohosting garage sales/etc., trying to plug into church stuff and build some community, and living with four girls I had never met before. And it’s not that I never get time to myself or couldn’t spend a few minutes on the weekend hacking out a blog post. It’s that when I have those minutes, I find myself just needing to recover.
I’m reading a book right now called The Introvert Advantage and oh my goodness. I am apparently what is known as a “highly sensitive introvert.” I get so frustrated with this about myself. I am sure many people (my poor roommates) must think how anti-social I am. I just cannot be on “go” mode nonstop without serious alone time frequently interspersed. As of now (I’m moving next week), home is not super restful. My house is basically a nonstop party, with people in and out, two types of music going in different rooms, people wanting to talk, any clean surface turning into an opportunity to make it a dirty surface. Am I complaining? No, because I would so love to be one of those exuberant people who can just absorb it all and get energy from it and live large.
But I am not.
And it’s a realization I’m coming to that I’m not sure I’ve accepted yet.
Still, I want to, and a part of that acceptance, I think, will be a renewal of my creativity and the ability to just be. In a moment of being I had yesterday, walking the city block from Whole Foods to my office, I was thinking about a conversation I had with an older man who came to a party/concert/bbq we had at my house on Sunday. He had been raised on a farm and has a vision to raise crops to feed the homeless. My heart.
I was also remembering a woman Sarah and I struck up a conversation with the other day at the Whole Foods bakery case. We were all three admiring the enormous, golden kolaches oozing with cream cheese and fruit and chocolate chips and the woman said (unbelievably),
“But, you know, at least they’re healthy.”
Sarah and I made indiscernible noises intended to sound agreeable, if not in agreement. The woman went on: “I mean, I’m sure they’re still full of calories, but at least they’re not fat calories.” Smile and nod. Smile and nod. Walk away.
These are the topics that light my fire – food, health, the poor, the American diet, agriculture, sustainability, whole living. And I don’t think I know enough about them to write about them. I didn’t get my master’s in anything ag-related. I don’t work in healthcare or on a farm. But I want to write about these topics, even just to process them in my own head. So stay tuned. The blog may be evolving.