October 13, 2010 § Leave a comment
I listened to a podcast of “Desire” conferences by John Eldredge today. I’ve been mulling over the idea of legacy, passion, and where real life meets with spiritual calling. I do want to walk in faith, not fear. I do want to pursue the desires God has put in my heart. The question is, what are they?
People pin desires on each other in an effort to bring their own unrealized longings to pass. I think there’s some of that in my goal-setting. There’s also a wishfulness to go “back to bountiful,” I think, in my desire to farm or promote back-to-the-land. Am I truly passionate about soil? I want my children–who don’t yet exist–to experience the abundance of life, closeness to nature, and access to color and beauty that I had growing up. That’s the origin of my interest in sustainability. From there, it stems out to wanting other “children” and the world in general to experience this as well and it angers me to see so many of these people making choices that destroy the possibility of abundant life.
But how to proceed? How to make the biggest impact to help people wake up out of the gray into the sunrise? Should I…have a family? Go to grad school and work for a nonprofit? Get a job in Maine as a farm tour guide for schoolchildren? Stay where I am as an English teacher at a private Christian school?
Hoping the path will present itself.