February 2, 2010 § 1 Comment

i told my friend rachel tonight that i am convinced that we fritter away our own happiness.

Dallas Willard says that if we could do one thing to improve our lives, it would be to ruthlessly eliminate hurry.

think about that.  today, i woke up in a hurry to go see the sunrise, something that gives me a lot of pleasure because you can’t hurry it up.  then i hurried to spend time with Jesus, get dressed, get out the door, and try to grade essays for class, which i didn’t get done.  i hurried through my work out and my dinner and phone calls with frantic mothers and young life people.  and i felt the entire time like there was something more i should be doing–more papers to grade, emails to reply to, and cleaning to be done. it was the first day i’ve had in a while where it was a struggle to be happy.

i am definitely happiest when i have time and energy that is unplanned and unscheduled.  i need margins!  i don’t do well when there is tons of imposed structure.  i need fun, flexibility, creativity, and plenty of rest.  i visited my grandmother at her assisted living place this weekend and looking around at all of the precious people who were once vibrant members of their families and communities and now, by all appearances, are mere wheelchair-fillers, i felt a little desperate to do what it takes now to stay healthy.  the truth is, though, that it’s beyond my control.  everything is.  and when i try most to control life, i am least satisfied.

steps toward going out of control:

  • make sure i’m not saying ‘yes’ to things just to make other people happy.
  • get enough sleep at night.
  • quit trying to be/appear perfect.
  • pray a lot.

do y’all have any other ideas?


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