January 4, 2008 § 1 Comment
I’m reading Captivating, by Stasi and John Eldredge. I’ve had this block against reading it, because I have a sort of block against reading anything that masses of other people read and think is good. [It hurts to admit that.] But I’m reading it now, because Sarah had it in her office and I got frighteningly bored yesterday and needed some fresh fuel.
I’m realizing a lot about myself as I read it, and I’m in awe again at the ridiculous love and perfection of the One I serve. I really don’t even know what to say past that. It’s too much to explain.
But it makes me remember a phrase that has stayed with me for a long time. At World Mandate a few years ago, I was in a seminar by Jeannine Parrish about women on the mission field and she was talking about her daughter. Evidentally, the daughter had gone through a rough spell in her younger years, but Jeannine said, “Now, she is so captured.” I don’t remember anything else from that seminar, but that phrase, and most especially that word, has sprung back up in my thoughts and prayers ever since. Lord, I want to be a captured woman.
And still don’t really know what that means. But I’m getting there. What does it mean to be a captive of something? You’re done. You are removed from everything and everyone else.
The word ‘capture’ comes from a Latin word meaning ‘to take.’ It implies an outside force. So to be captured, something else has to be real besides me.
You know what’s amazing, though? Song of Solomon says I capture His heart, too. What in the world. He delights in my desire for Him. So it’s this back and forth crazy romance between a teeny little creature (me) and the King of Glory. Yesterday morning, I was truly captivated by the sunrise. It was huge and purply and so ridiculously beautiful, I didn’t want to stop gazing at it and go back in, even to sit by the fire and read my Bible. I just wanted to stand there and BEHOLD.
If I’m captivated by a sunrise, what must it take to captivate Jesus? Something exquisitely perfect and beautiful.
Your eyes will behold the king in his beauty;
they will see a land that stretches afar.
Behold Zion, the city of our appointed feasts!
Your eyes will see Jerusalem,
an untroubled habitation, an immovable tent,
whose stakes will never be plucked up,
nor will any of its cords be broken.
But there the LORD in majesty will be for us
a place of broad rivers and streams,
where no galley with oars can go,
nor majestic ship can pass.
For the LORD is our judge; the LORD is our lawgiver;
the LORD is our king; he will save us.