let’s go to the hop.

i can’t seem to sleep past 8 these days.  even though i’m up til 12:30 or 1:00 every night, i feel like i’m  missing something if i wake up with the sun shining in my eyes and still stay in bed.

yesterday morning, i got up, got ready for our 10 o’clock dodgeball game, and went to the prayer room.  i walked in and justin rizzo started prophesying.  i just sat there and soaked for a while…

but this morning, i just came to the coffee shop.  i don’t really feel like calling anyone.  i’m actually hoping no one i know comes in and wants to sit with me.  but i just feel a little stale.  we’re all about to head into the prayer room for a couple of hours, and then later we have “family groups” for the first time, and then after that we have church, then more prayer room.  somewhere in there i need to go to the grocery store.  mostly, i don’t want a new family group in a new home with new people to get to know.  [honestly, i'm sure i'll love it, but on this side of it] i just want my own family and my own home.

it’s hard to believe i’ve been here a month.  sometimes it feels like i’ve been here a lifetime.  and then i look up and feel like i just got here.  it’s a rollercoaster.  the other night in the prayer room, i couldn’t stop smiling, feeling so loved and pursued by Jesus.  but that was right after a couple of hours of feeling as confused as i’ve ever felt in my life.  through it all, i truly feel Him transforming my heart.  bit by bit by bitty bit. 

i wanna be found faithful
i wanna be found steady
i wanna be found faithful
to the end

i wanna live before Your eyes
i wanna stay before Your gaze
just keep me steady here
[rizzo]